Now that you’ve met someone special, how do you teach him how you want to be loved without scaring him away? Answers here!
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Take The 5 Love Language Quiz
Many people talk about this quiz, and it’s become pretty popular, but even if you’ve taken the quiz before on your own take it again together and discuss your results. We’ll let you in on a little secret: Just because your love language is quality time and physical touch, don’t just offer that to someone else thinking that’s what he requires. Learn each other's love languages and work daily toward showing your love to each other in their own language.
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Feedback, Feedback and More Feedback!
We all know that common phrase, “Well he should just know!” But often times, he doesn’t. So when he does something that you absolutely love whether it’s taking something off of your list of things to do or called and said, “I love you” after a long day, take a moment and tell him, “Babe it really meant a lot when you did XYZ because...” and tell him why. Well now he knows I’m on the right track and if I do more of that, then it will make her day.
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Treat Him How
Women tell us all the time, “I wish he would spend more time with me, or I wish we could spice up our love life.” He might be thinking the same thing. And although we would appreciate the man taking the initiative in these areas, empower yourself and show him how it’s done. If you’re both working all the time, surprise him with an impromptu invitation to a romantic lunch at home or if you want a hug and kiss when he walks in the door, you start it. Then let him know how happy it makes you and how much you look forward to it again.
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Put It Out There
If you’re considering a serious relationship with him but you’re not there yet, don’t be afraid to share your thoughts with him on a general scale early on. Let him know all the qualities you love about him and why you can see each other together long term. Yes we know it can be scary because he may bail, but if he runs and that’s the type of relationship you’re looking for, it’s ok. You will probably be saving yourself a long-term dating situation that’s going absolutely nowhere. But if he responds that he’s kind of feeling you too, Bingo, you’re rowing the same way and it’s worth investing more time to see where it goes.
Slowly Immerse Him Into Your World
It’s very easy to date someone for a really long time and he stays in his cocoon and you stay in yours, never the two shall meet. But to progress the relationship forward, take baby steps with things like meeting your friends out, or inviting him to a work event. He will soon know how serious you are and hopefully follow suit. If you find that he’s not, you may want to take a pause and determine if he’s as serious as he says he is.
Be Vulnerable
It’s almost impossible to establish a deeper emotional connection with someone without sharing some of your innermost dreams, experiences, and goals. If you’ve been dating for quite some time and really don’t know more about each other than the surface, you can probably attest to the fact that it doesn’t feel like there’s much there. Think of some things that you can share and give him the opportunity to respond with his love and support.
Allow Him A Clean Slate
We can never say this enough. This man is a totally different human being than the last man you dated and had a relationship with. Try your very best not to compare him to anyone else and allow him the chance to learn how to love you in his own way. If you find yourself comparing him, apologize and start over. You’re a work in progress but you can do this!
Leave Your Party Girl Image Behind
You want to be the wife, but you’re constantly posting pictures of you out every weekend with everyone under the sun. Don’t get us wrong, men want a woman that’s fun and knows how to have a great time. But if you overdo it, you appear unsettled and it may make him think that you’re more of the bed buddy type or the side chick rather then a wife. Go out, enjoy yourself, but there’s no need to post every move you make if there’s no commitment just yet.
Make Your Time Together Count
We always encourage creating memories so that when something comes up during the week or during his travels away, he will think of you and the fun things you’ve done together. Every day can’t be a sky diving day, but don’t be afraid to break up the routine by doing something you’ve never done together before like trying a new cuisine or exploring a new area. When you have to leave each other’s side, he’ll be wishing he had more where that came from.
Tell Him, Girl!
If your man is doing something wrong or is continuing a pattern that you don’t like, share it with him with love. All of the time we hear from men that one of their biggest pet-peeves is when they observe a shift in their woman’s behavior and they take the initiative to ask what’s wrong, she says nothing. Even though we know we sometimes don’t want to take on the conversation, it’s so worth it to keep the lines of communication open and give him the opportunity to hear your thoughts to make things right.
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