Non-Negotiables in a relationship by: Mimi

In premarital class yesterday, The Pastor and his wife spoke on NON-Negotiables!

When considering non-negotiables, a good starting point can be what things would end a relationship for you or what you would never tolerate. Try to distill this list as much as possible, finding the most critical pieces. 

Non-negotiables are the things that we will not accept or change. And they do exist. While this list probably shouldn’t be 20 items, everyone has at least one or two. It is important we decide these deliberately as opposed to realizing them after a relationship begins.

Sharing your non-negotiables

If you agree there are some things you wouldn’t give up and have determined these things, what next? Once you have decided your non-negotiables you have to share them in your relationship. It is important that once established, these are a part of your conversations.

f you are in a relationship and haven’t already had this type of conversation, I would encourage you talking with your partner about both of your non-negotiables and what they mean for the relationship. Hopefully by this point you already know some of the topics that will emerge

The trickier piece can be when dating and looking for that special someone. How do you share non-negotiables, especially big ones, with someone new? After all, it is kind of weird on the first date to share, “Hey, we have to spend Christmases with my family.” That is a great tactic to scare a date away. So at what point do you share your non-negotiables? When things are getting serious

Don’t Compromise

Having non-negotiables goes beyond defining and sharing them. If your non-negotiables are to succeed, you must stand by them. When you really have something you are not going to give up, it’s simple. You do not give it up. This is where I have seen a lot of people fail, myself included.

Once you figure out your non-negotiable, you need to stick to it. You cannot give them up. That is why they are called non-negotiables. I firmly believe if we give up our non-negotiables, we are pushing ourselves to unhappiness and failure. When we truly define the right non-negotiables though, they remain a consistent truth.

So let me know, what are your non-negotiables? What are the things you are never willing to give up? 

Follow @Mimi.on.the.move (Instagram)